April 3, 2019

When Bad is Good

Obligatory disclaimer: My alter ego is a novelist. Now the rest of this will make more sense.

Last month, I applied for a coveted and highly competed-for spot in an advertising newsletter for one of my novels, and was turned down. When something unpleasant happens like that, it’s always a big fat message from the Universe, and that message is, “Here’s where your vibe is.” So I took a quick look at where I’d been focused.

I’d been noticing business tightening up, and money getting short, and publishers not cooperating. This was the whole reason I applied for the ad. I was in a state of, “Whoa, things are tight. I’d better do something to boost sales fast!”

But since I can only experience what matches my vibration, the answer to an ad that would increase sales was “no.” I can’t do anything that’s going to get me more sales, when my attitude is entirely about lack of sales. These two vibrations don’t match. This “No” was a mirror, showing me where my vibration was, and that is always a gift.

I took stock. I hadn’t been meditating every day. I’d been worrying about sales and money and bills and lack. So naturally those things were growing in my experience. What you notice increases. What you pay attention to sticks to you.

But how do you stop?

You can’t really eradicate worry. You have to replace it instead. It’s like your brain is a computer. Once you save a file, it’s there forever, even if you delete it. The only way to really get rid of it is to overwrite it with a new file. So instead of trying to banish worry, we replace it.

Now this is far, far easier if you catch the problem early, and catching the problem early is just another habit we develop through practice. It’s much better to practice this way of thinking when times are good, so you’ll be ready when they aren’t. That’s like putting your parachute on before you jump out of the airplane, instead of thinking about it later, when you’re free falling. And that’s what most never get. They wait until they’re in freefall before asking, “What do I do now?” instead of developing a steady, consistently positive attitude while they’re still in the airplane.

Methods

The top method for getting my focus where I want it is meditation. I realized I had let my daily habit slide. So I got back into the habit. I get up before everyone else in the morning, and spend 15 minutes silencing my mind. The more often I do it, the easier it is to do. I have many posts about meditation on this site if you want further instruction on my methods. In short, I focus on some pleasant but boring white noise. I set a timer so I’m not tempted to look at the clock. I count my breaths in and out. I try to feel my heart as I do this, which enhances smooth communication between the heart and mind. And I just keep shifting my focus back to those things when mind chatter interferes. I usually get a few minutes of true connection and mind silence for every 15 minutes I spend in meditation, and that’s enough.

My second best method for raising my vibration is to reinforce my practice of celebrating the good stuff. I shifted my focus back to what was going right, rather than what was going wrong. I made sure that I wasn’t posting, reading, sharing, tweeting and talking about complaints. It’s so easy to slide back into that old habit.

I focused on being PRESENT in my life, in each moment. I try to actually BE IN MY SHOWER while I’m showering, rather than letting my mind race toward what comes next, and next after that and so on.

My vibration rose very quickly back to its usual place.

And then it went higher...

I was soon back to having amazing days, gorgeous weather, fun conversations with incredible women friends. But then a new idea manifested and it was so delicious and exciting that I went higher than I’d ever been. I got all excited about a new business idea, and I started planning and moving on it.

This also reminded me of something I already knew: Every time we experience something unpleasant, it creates its opposite. As we experience the problem, we create the solution. As we experience sorrow, we create joy. As we experience lack, we create abundance. And the thing created is always bigger than the issue that nudged us into creating it.

Now all we have to do is raise our vibration to match what our “problem” just helped us create. And I’ve just outlined a bunch of ways to help do that. Moving on.

New Maniftestation!

I came home from a fun day out, flying high, got out of the car, and something said, Check the delivery shed. (We have a little freestanding shed for the delivery guys to leave packages in. There’s a big sign on it saying to ring the bell attached to its door, so we’ll know, but they tend to forget that part.) Anyway, something said, check the shed, even though we were not expecting any packages.

So I did, and there was a small envelope I’d have expected to find in the regular mailbox. It was from one of my former publishers, announcing the reversion of rights on 7 of my novellas–that’s 7 titles I can polish up and release, titles many of my readers might have missed, titles that will bring in some money for us. (See how I had to stop worrying about money for money to manifest? I had actually moved on from that, and voila!)

I was jumping up and down in joyous excitement–this is a BIG DEAL that almost never happens these days. I knew my alignment must be right in the zone, because again, we can only experience what matches our vibration. So after I stopped shouting and jumping and laughing, I went right to the desk and re-applied for that coveted ad spot I’d tried to land a month before. I knew I’d get it this time. It couldn’t fail, the way I was feeling.

And sure enough, I got the spot. The next day I got another novella back from a different publisher, and I thought, well of course I did. I ought to ask for some more while I’m vibing this way.

The takeaway...

When disappointments come, it helps if we’re able to see them as the guide posts that they are. Nothing has gone wrong. Everything is going the only way it can go while we maintain the vibration, the attitude, the default setting of the moment.

And there is no one so aligned that they never have these challenging moments, unless they’re dead.

This is what life is: Experience something you didn’t want. Recognize it as the stairway to the next level. Shift focus from the “problem” to the solution. Experience the solution created for you by the problem. Bask in that for a while. Repeat.

Recognizing this takes the sting out of hard times. They can only stay for as long as they claim our focus, and they always push us higher than we’ve been before.

Bad things aren’t really bad. They’re the seeds of new and improved experiences. Problems to show me where my vibe is off, so I can correct course and claim more of my true power.

 

 

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