8 months ago
Confession time, friends. I’m in a Step 1 moment and it’s entirely fueled by events happening in my country. As much as I KNOW that my attention to what I do not want will create more of it, I take comfort in the fact that experiencing unwanted is what launches the solutions, the wanted, the opposite. But right now I’m kind of enjoying my rage. I’m not going to tell you what I’m mad about because it doesn’t matter. (And the truth is, I’m mad at everything–I’m so out of alignment that I even got passionate over the Oxford comma dispute this morning!)
I’m furious about something I don’t like instead of focusing on something I would prefer. And while the deeper the wallow, the stronger the desire it launches, I really need to get out of the mud. It’s not good for me in here.
Until I can get back to my normal happy joy place, I’m paying attention to whatever this wallow has to teach me. Much like lucid dreaming where you “wake up” in your dream and realize it’s a dream and try to take charge, I’m being as woke as possible in my growly moment, so I can see what there is here to learn.
Wisdom from the Wallow
One thing I’ve noticed that when I’m angry like this, I stop meditating. Or maybe it’s more that when I stop meditating, I get angry like this. Either way, meditation is key for me, clearly. So my first remedy is to resume my habit of meditating every single day. I don’t know how long it’s been since I let it slide. A week, maybe. But I meditated yesterday and will today and I’ll commit to getting back to every day.
Another thing I do when I’m feeling bad and don’t do when I’m feeling good; scrolling social media instead of just posting what I need to and getting off. So I think I’ll spend a few hours today scheduling posts in advance to help me avoid that this coming week, while I’m in spiritual recovery.
I need to keep the TV turned off, mostly. Pick one news program and watch that, and leave the rest. (Notice I can’t even consider going entirely news-free? I’m an addict, I fear.) For background noise, when I’m out of alignment, I tend to leave it on the 24-hour news channel that reaffirms most what I already believe. (I tried to be open minded and watch the other one, but it made me throw rocks at the screen and declare that Thanos had the right idea.) I don’t do this when I’m aligned. I do it when I’m not. Not sure which comes first, but I am sure it doesn’t matter.
I need to be outside. Spring was like an extension of winter here where I live, and even now that it’s getting up near 80 today, low 70s yesterday, it’s still icy cold at night. 45 when I got up at 6 a.m., and we had frosts two nights in a row earlier this week. (See how I’m still complaining? This is not my usual state.) But it’s stopped raining, and it’s nice outside. I can safely put in my veggie garden now. So I can focus on that to keep me out of the TV room, off the internet, basking under sunshine and blue blue skies, and raising my vibration back up where it belongs. I spent a lot of time outside yesterday (probably the only reason I got my vibe up enough to even post this today.) I intend to do so again today.
And of course, I’m still missing my beautiful Dozer dog, which might’ve been the event that triggered my eventual descent into pissed-off-at-everythingness.
This doesn’t mean I’ll feel better about the “Fall of Camelot,” as a fellow wise woman describes what’s been happening in the US of late. But maybe it’ll help me shift my focus to realizing that our true Camelot is yet to come. Maybe I can focus on the utopian society of my dreams instead of its opposite. Its opposite is only what helps to create it.
Maybe that’s my key takeaway. You can’t have Utopia until you have Dystopia, because Dystopia is what makes you want its cure.
I’ll bounce back. I always do. But if you were wondering why it’s been quiet here this is why. I’m struggling a little, just like we all do from time to time. And I’m okay with that. So I’m in Step 1 and I’m okay with that.
For those who don’t know, here are the steps to which I refer, according to Abraham-Hicks, with some notes from me in parenthesis.
Step 1: ASK. (Experiencing what you do not want causes you to ask for improvement. You ask with every minute of every day, with every cell in your body, consciously and subconsciously and unconsciously. We are constantly seeking improvement. It’s what physical experience is for.
Step 2: IT IS ANSWERED (The very act of recognizing what would be better, creates it. It exists from the moment we feel the need for it. This isn’t anything we have to do, it simply is how creation/expansion/evolution works.)
Step 3: RECEIVE (Only when we align ourselves with the solution, rather than the problem that inspired it, can we experience that solution in our lives. All our work is really about this step-getting ourselves aligned. Shifting focus from the problem to the solution, believing and expecting it. Looking for hints of it where we already are and finding them is the quickest way to align with the answers.)
Step 4: ALIGNMENT, MOSTLY (Step four is mastery of step 3. A state where we spend most of our time positive and well aligned with our Higher Selves.)
Step 5: ACCEPTANCE (This step means not being mad at ourselves every time we’re back in Step 1. Once we recognize it’s part of a cycle that only ends when we croak, if then, we can more easily accept that this is what life is made of. This very cycle is what powers the expansion of the universe. The key is to get out of Step 1 as quickly as we can, by shifting from focus on the problem to focus on the solution.)
So that’s all. I’m heading outside now. Have a great day!